So November 2012 my parents arrived planning to move here for good.. Dec 2013 they departed back to the UK.
I really can't explain my emotions. Truly it all just feels a little odd. I can cry at the drop of a hat as I pass their old flat. I look at the kids and long to see them rumbling Papa or to see Kitty rock back through the door on a Thursday telling me all about what Sushi she had with Gaga and where they ate it and what they then drew or discussed.
I feel rejected that they chose the UK over us and more so their Grandchildren.. HA! Get over yourself Tessa.. you left the UK and them to live here so 'pot calling' lady!
I feel resentment they didn't rent like I asked to get to know the areas.. Who are you kidding?! You are the product of them and they are as stubborn as you. There aint' no telling two 71 year old independent Londoners what to do, say, pretend or otherwise.
I feel anger that they came at the wrong time.. we were told Dad would get hired easily by his previous company over here (yes at 71 he is still a gun at his job and HIGHLY sought after in London.. as is Mum) so when that didn't happen it all went pear shaped. There were options to stay but they want to work for a few more years. It makes them happy and my anger is selfish as I wanted them to stay despite no work.
I despise the thought that they will return to the UK and bag out Australia due to the fact they never got to see its amazingness (is that a word?). They never got to reach the point I have where your way of life and manner of thinking just flick a switch. The focus on lack of work and finding it, then post that returning to the UK and finding a new place meant they never got the time to appreciate the good stuff or slow down enough to not care that people drive slowly here along with being pretty crap drivers in comparison to Londoners.
My parents never got to find the peace that Australia brings to a hyperactive, bolshy, slightly grumpy and rather materialistic Londoner (yes that WAS me and it IS them). It makes us sound terrible but is not so as it is the norm in London Town.. it is fast paced with lots of flash cash and a sense of needing to display that. We have it in Sydney just not where I live and I was so desperate for them to find that shift as it is the most liberating feeling ever.
I guess after it all I am just sad and disappointed. It is not their fault and not mine. I want them to be happy and the UK is where they can be that right now.
Its odd.. after all these years, after boarding school since 10, living in London away from home at 18, I feel lost without my parents?
What should I feel? Are your parents near or far?