Can be everyone's perfect..
1 June 2016
I am not all that old.. (yep I am as grey as the hills are old but I am only 40) but I have done a huge amount in my little lifetime. I have been in lots of very polarising scenarios over the years and had to work with, contend and mix with all sorts of personalities.
The one thing I have learnt the hard way is you can't be everyone's perfect.
Each and every person has their own set of situations. No two people are the same whether it is their family dynamics, their financial situation or even their mental health. In the last 5 years I have had all those AND all at the same time.
I lost someone I thought would be a best friend for life as I wasn't able to give her enough time - I had to work and it was building DTLL from the ground up on my own.
Depression set in as the stress of trying to be there for the kids in school and build a new business on a budget took more than I had - something had to give and I am only human.. my mental health buckled big time.
Family has to be the toughest and I have one member of mine that continually seems disappointed in me as I am not Thankful enough or thoughtful enough or.. well I am sure I could go on but we live different lives in every scenario and basically I am just not cut from the same cloth and that makes me an inferior version.
The thing about all these stages is you can let them get you down or you can find a way to grow from them and for me it has taught me to look at what means the most to me and nurture those things.
These days I concentrate on my relationships that are natural and fluid. I have a feeling as the years pass my circle of friends will get smaller and smaller but each and everyone that remains will be that much more important to me.
I know that my husband and kids mean more to me than anything, more than my work and more than my own time. I want to be there to support them whilst I can and if that means me taking a bit of a step back at work and having to budget a bit more with less income then so be it.
The most important thing is that I accept I cannot be everyones perfect and I don't need to be. I shouldn't feel judged by someone else just because they live their life a different way. We all make our own choices and we all have different priorities and my priorities are just as valid as anyone else's whether they are polar opposites or not.
It is not about thinking you are perfect and everyone else has got it wrong it is about accepting the cards you have been dealt and being happy with what hand you are playing.
I question so many of my actions and I will often reach out to my girls to see what they think but at the end of the day as long as my kids and my husband agree I am all good..
It's ok not to be everyones perfect as long as I am perfect as I can be for me...
Do you try to be everyones perfect?
Does it wear you down?