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HOW could you?


So I have been asked why would you? HOW could you? I have been reminded by so many people that there was no way they could do it, that they just couldn't risk it not working out..

Yep all the re assuring type of conversations you want to have just before you move to another country with your kids.

And now I am here? I may just be muttering those same words back to myself at certain times, ok quite a few times, oh ok at least 3 or 4 times a day!.

So Sydney to San Francisco.. how did it happen and how is it going are now the 2 most common questions I hear every day, that would be assuming I can ignore the obvious ones of  'Mum, can I have XYZ?' from the kids like clockwork on the half hour, every hour of the day that they are within earshot.

So why did we move when you were so in love with where we lived?

Easy, why not?

I should be a little more honest and not proclaim such a fly by the seat of my pants attitude as this wasn't my answer straight off.

When Marcus asked me last Christmas would I be interested, willing and able to move to the U.S next year some time I immediately answered..

'HELL NO!'.

'Oh O.K' he said sheepishly, I thought you might be a little more open to the idea...

'What?.. I have 3 businesses here, the kids are happy, we just got a dog and we are remortgaging to  put a pool in at the house'.

'Yeah, put it that way and it does sound a little stupid but I am just thinking about the future and where I can get with my career at LinkedIn in Sydney vs the U.S'

I won't bore you with how the next few months of random conversations panned out but suffice to say we discussed it more and I agreed I was being a tad ego driven with my head saying to me 'how can I walk away from a business I have put my heart and soul into?' AND own 2 of them with best mates, possibly a little bit narrow minded (staying was the easy option) and certainly fulfilling one of my strongest qualities of being SERIOUSLY stubborn... (I said no and I want what I want..).

As I started to think outside my box I realised what an opportunity this was for the kids to see and actually live another country, an experience not many get the chance to do.

I took a little ego check and confirmed to myself what I already knew, that my businesses were already taking up so much of my time that the kids were missing out and they certainly were not yielding an appropriate wage for myself given the time I spent on them.

I also took the time to think about the future and what made sense for us as a family, not just me, or just the kids, or just Marcus for that matter.. ALL of us.

Marcus and I were both working ridiculous hours and were shattered all weekend in between still working and if we could move to the U.S for a few years and have me not work at all and still be ok budget wise then what the hell was stopping us?

The best thing about our final decision to go was that there was no desperate search for a better life. We loved what we had in Sydney, so this was simply an adventure, an experience to share as a family and an opportunity for us all to get more time together which was something we hadn't managed for at least 2 years prior.

Yes we would miss friends and family but it is only temporary and heck we moved away from the lions share of them 16 years beforehand when we came from the U.K so we know what it is like to do it alone and we knew we could do it again.

So that was that, a decision was made. Marcus put his name in the ring for the U.S job and when he won it we had 6 weeks from signing the contract to when we needed to be in San Francisco.

I will write another post about how to organise, de clutter and pack up a house like a boss another day as it would be seriously useful for anyone moving, even if just locally.

I will also write another one with tips for anyone moving to the U.S as I have some fab shortcuts and networks on line I had never heard about until I got here and they would have been useful even before I landed rather than 2 weeks later when  I finally found them!.

So anyway.. that is HOW.. and now I am here.. well its awesome so far.. again another honest post with the highs and lows to come but all in all the place is amazing and the experience is a positive one.

Have you moved countries? 
Did you love it?
Did you go back? 


12 comments

  1. You know Tessa, I read your blog before but now I reaaaddd your blog. I am loving these posts and I love that you had it 'set' in many people's eyes in a city that is seriously one of the best, and then you decided to up it for adventure. My heart skips a beat.

    We have moved quite a bit in the last 6 years, not overseas, but still far enough to have to restart so to speak. People will always ask how you do it, why leave what you have as it is so good, yada yada, but seriously, the growth I have gained as a person, a woman, a mother and a wife by moving is unexplainable. And the way it tightens your bond as a family is the most beautiful and unexpected result for us.

    We will move again, the clock is ticking. This time for some land with something a wee greeny/tropical. I cant wait. This will hopefully will be the place for a more long term space but then I know we have the plan for a few years abroad for the international experience which is in my mind the best education for a child (and adult). You cannot compete with life and the world.

    Next level.

    I look forward to the next post.
    Mandy :)

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    1. Thanks Mandy.. I have not always had the time to talk from the heart on this blog so it is a new era for me where I can write about what I do and say with time on my side :)

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  2. I moved all on my own but I still got most of those same questions. And you know what? They made me second guess myself all the time. Maybe not immediately after I'd made the decision, or even after I got my visa. But definitely in the first months after I got off the plane.
    But I love it here. And I would do it all again. It's just the anxiety and the unfamiliarity talking. Soon you'll feel like things are familiar here and you'll love it too. :)

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    1. I love it already.. it is a fab place but I think when you move from some where you already love there will always be the constant comparison and missing that old place won't stop..

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  3. We moved from the UK to Australia 8 years ago. At the time we thought we'd stick it out for a year and then go back, but we're still here and we have no plans to go back, not unless Australia goes underwater. I think the moving and settling is the most stressful because everything is new and it's like starting from scratch, but once you find your groove you can really enjoy the ride.

    I have no doubt that this is a move in the right direction for you all. It was so lovely to see you last week - you look great! Here's to new opportunities, a new life and new adventures - it's great to see a bit more of you on the blog. And you know what? Sydney will always be here waiting for you when you come back x

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    1. Thank you gorgeous Sammie, it was fab to see you too and so soothing to be able to catch up with someone I actually knew before meeting :)
      I am 99% sure we will be back to Sydney as our final home but I am always open to adventures along the way.. this move has reminded me of that.

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  4. Great timing for me to find this post :) We've spent the year planning to move to Seattle next year, which has mostly involved fixing up the house and mentally preparing the kids, and are just now getting to the official stages of my husband's interviews etc. With 3 kids aged 7-13, the adventure itself is also our main reason. I would love to hear your tips on packing and shortcuts and anything really!

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    1. OK I will get that post done sooner rather than later .. will you get a relocation allowance included in the move?

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    2. That would be amazing, thank you :) As for relocation support, I'm not sure just yet, all the specifics are being negotiated in four weeks from now, but I am planning to declutter as if we won't. If that makes sense.
      BTW, I greatly admire your strength and decision in leaving your work behind for awhile, that big change in head space, I struggle with it but see it as such a positive.

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    3. I think thew work is taking the biggest adaption and I am struggling with my role in the family but I will talk more in depth about that another day when I have had more time to process it!!

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  5. I have no doubt at all this was what you were meant to do right now hun and here is where you are meant to be down the track. Miss you xx

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    1. I do too beautiful.. SOOOO much to tell you, just waiting until you have breathing room to take in my download :)

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